trying to think about the good sides to this..

i just had the meeting with amy and ics. we went over what i'll need when i move. then zen asked amy if the housing lady said anything to her about the waiting list and housing for it- seeing as my name came up on it but i had to reject it because it wasn't convenient for anyone for ME to ACTUALLY live life the way I want. she said nanchalantly, "oh.. from my understanding- she just goes back on the waitlist until she's called again." i said after she said that, "so ANOTHER four years." then she played stupid and said, "oh is that how long it took? they said it could take months or years." you jackasses don't HONESTLY care about your damn clients- just so it looks like you're actually doing your damn jobs thoroughly. this delay in me living where I can ACTUALLY be genuinely happy WON'T give me more time to be around my neglectful family who only shows "care" at their own convenience and benefit.. and it WON'T drive me back to some sad excuse of a "rehabilitation" center like courage kenny. considering i'll be 40 this year.. just give it 20 more years and i'll actually be where I want. NOT falsely making my family appear "caring" which they obviously DON'T (except joe). i'll be driven back to my hermit tendencies. judging by my past associations with family should be all the proof you need. if i don't get so depressed with nothing happening for me in my life that i end it outta impatience and frustration. MINNESOTA IS THE BEST FOR DISABLED PEOPLE MY FUCKIN ASS. ARE YOU SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE WHEN YOU SAY THAT BULLSHIT OR CONVENIENCE? NEWSFLASH: I'M NOT A MINDLESS IDIOT WHO IS SO DISABLED THEY JUST FORGET EVERYTHING THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH JUST BECAUSE THEIR LIAR KEWLIEZ COUSIN SAYS BULLSHIT. i'm starting to think that amy just had this meeting to act like she's actually doing her job and it leads to NOTHING- so it was basically pointless because i didn't learn anything NEW or any good news about me moving whatsoever. well.. at least people are pretending to be on the same page as me. i probably look like the optimistic idiot who has her hopes up for NOTHING though (while others laugh and talk about me as usual). who am i kidding though? THAT'S BEEN MY WHOLE LIFE IN A NUTSHELL!